So, I know it is only August, but I pulled the trigger on another new pair of skis for the upcoming season. After looking at some reviews on- line, also from the Stockli rep, and consultation with my friend in Tahoe, I decided on another pair of Stockli Stormrider 88s. I have a quiver of Stockli skis but the 88 under foot is always my go to ski and I was happy to get another pair.
It is interesting that at this time of year, I start to get itchy for the new season. Buying a new pair of skis kind of jump starts you a little bit. I got our passes early, committed to ski trips, and in short- I am ready when the first flakes start to fall. However………………………..screeeech!!!!!! We still have the wonderful season of fall ahead.
My one friend JR always looks at his watch and sees how long it will take for me to mention skiing on a mountain bike ride. For a guy who lives in Pittsburgh, skis locally, and gets two western trips a year, I get a fair amount of skiing. Not as many days as my friends who live out west, or in New England, but for a local guy- not bad. I always think Janet and I should be living in the mountains. She likes the beach better and alas there is the rub. But we both like Pittsburgh, our friends are here, and we are resolved to ski locally and travel. But that does not temper my enthusiasm for the sport- even in the summer. But again………………….screeeeeeech!!! The nicest time of the year around here is coming soon. But for now, the dog days of summer are to be enjoyed.
One of the good things about the late days of summer riding is that you are in pretty good shape for the shape that you are in. At 70, I am grateful for my health and when we are barreling down the trails on our bikes, I am usually one of the oldest guys. My Garmin Connect says I am 58, but I know better. The chronological advancement is not lost on me, but I try to stay with it. I want to be doing this for as long as possible and when discussing skis with my friend Eric in Tahoe, we both said we need to stay active. We both thank God for good health to enable us to ride and ski for many more years. It’s not like I am riding like I was when I was younger, but I can still ride and ski enjoyably. Eric and I keep each other honest as we both have lost friends. Other friends are slowing down but we try to keep rolling on the rubber wheels and on the slopes. We are starting to feel like the last of the Mohicans, but there are good days ahead………….if we keep at it. Updating equipment like skis and mountain bikes, help with that.
I am even ready for the ski tuning season with new vices from Swix, new files and diamond stones, and new bevels to accurately tune the edges. My friend Eric gave me a tutorial last spring when we were skiing together on tuning in the 21st century. I was still doing it the old way. But the new way with the bevels and getting the skis stone ground to a specific bevel is next level. I am totally prepared.
So, not to rush the season or anything, I am looking forward to fall riding. A bunch of us will be going in September to ride the new Monday Lick trail system in West Virginia and staying at the wonderful Jerico Pre-Civil War cabins there. Jan and I also will be heading to Maine for a fall coastal trip. But I will be looking for the FedEx driver every day to see if the new boards are being delivered. Hey- it’s fun getting excited about things. Thanks for reading.
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“He who hurries his footsteps errs” Proverbs 19:2
You know, hindsight is 20/20 as they say and thinking back, I might have done things differently or maybe had a different perspective. Like youth sports with my son Jack. Now interestingly enough, I always played sports because my folks encouraged it- even though they were not athletic at all. I skied, swam, ice skated, played baseball, football, and played tennis and golf. Took lessons in all of them and really took to skiing and cycling which has stuck with me. But with this background, you can see how excited I was to get my son Jack into sports as a kid. He is now 30, and we laugh about the good old days, but I do have some thoughts on my zeal to encourage his basketball. Again- hindsight is 20/20.
Listening to a podcast with Peter Carlisle, the acclaimed sports agent who counts Michael Phelps and Simone Biles as clients, I was interested to hear his perspective on youth sports. He basically said that in today’s world, specialization is the only way to move from youth sports to high school sports. He was always a fan of diversity of experience for youth sports, and how important it is for kids to try a lot of sports and appreciate the process rather than the results. But in today’s world, if you have talent and want to move ahead with your sports endeavors, you have to specialize. He spoke of the differences in personalities of the kids who move ahead. There are the 80 percent of them who like to win. But the difference makers, in Peter’s perspective, are the 20 percent who hate to lose. He also said that it was more important for his own kids to have that diversity of experience. The ones who have the drive will achieve, as his own son plays college baseball. But he is also realistic in noting that only 6 percent of high school athletes move on to college sports, and an even smaller percentage ever go on to the pros. So, for most kids, the experience of sports and what it teaches you, is way more important than the results. Maybe not so for a guy like Michael Phelps, but for most kids, diversity of experience may be the key that will prepare them for challenges in life.
So, getting back to Jack, I always wanted him to ski with me and to perhaps ride a mountain bike with me, but he gravitated eventually to basketball and initially that was a challenge. I used to say” Basketball?” We ski in the winter, Jack.” But Janet always said,” it’s not about you, it is about Jack and his friends.” So I figured I would go all in on basketball and my own skiing came second as we moved along. We got Jack involved in grade school and high school basketball. But perhaps his best experience was AAU basketball with Daryn Freedman and eventually the DeJuan Blair All Stars with Darell Porter. Darell, a former all American from Pitt, asked me if I taught Jack how to play. I laughed and said I never saw the inside of a gym as I was a skier. I can’t even dribble. He laughed and said he would teach me everything I need to know, but he liked Jack’s three point shot.
Fast forward, Jack had a much better experience in AAU than he had in high school ball, and received very good training from Pete Strobl, who I engaged to teach Jack the finer points of the game. Pete’s Scoring Factory was a great experience, but it was my way of pushing the basketball a little too much. As time moved on, about Jack’s junior year, he had issues with his high school coach and the rose was off the bloom for basketball. Jack told me he didn’t want to play anymore, even though he would have been a starting player for his high school team. I asked him….” What about Friday night lights Jack?” ” You never get those days back.” He replied,” Dad- it means a lot more to you than it does to me.” Kind of disappointing at the time and I was not happy. But looking back, perhaps I pushed the issue too far. Not real sure, but thinking back, perhaps Peter Carlisle is right. The diversity of experience and the process of sports is way more important in most cases than the results. Unless you are a extraordinary talent.
In todays world, there is a lot of pressure to succeed. It starts ramping up in youth sports, gets serious in high school, and with all the NIL considerations and pressures in college sports, has become more of a business than an experience that prepares kids for life. Even though Jan and I gave Jack a lot of opportunities with many sports, it was the basketball that seemed to fit and my pressure for him to succeed, was perhaps detrimental. I would encourage any parent today to value the diversity of experience and get their kids into many sports. More to show them that sports can teach you discipline, camaraderie, and performance under a little bit of pressure. All traits that are important in life. If the kid has real talent, his or her cream will rise to the top. But parental pressure to succeed is a mistake. Easy for me to say now looking back 13 years or so.
As an epilogue, Jack loves to watch the NBA and plays in a YMCA pickup league. He still enjoys the game and uses it for exercise in his increasingly busy life. So, hopefully some of my past zeal gave him something to carry forward. But it will be interesting to see what Jack does and his perspective on things when he has a child someday. Will he get him or her into youth sports? We will see. He watched me when he was a younger athlete and maybe he will not make the same mistakes I made even though my intentions were noble. I guess looking back it is like the old adage of climbing Mt. Everest. Most climbers say it is the process rather than the result of summitting, that is the most rewarding. I probably should have had a more mature perspective on things when Jack was playing. But again…………hindsight is 20/20. Hoping Jack will say someday that it was a good overall experience rather than not. Thanks for reading.
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My mother always said, ” Happiness is like a perfume- you can’t sprinkle on others without getting a little on yourself.” Good line and so true. The other day I was listening to a podcast with Dr. Laurie Santos from Yale University on the subject of happiness. Lots of conversation about how happiness is a byproduct on how you choose to live your life. She spoke about the intensity of ivy league life and the fact that many students are not happy. One of the most popular courses at Yale is her class on Happiness, because so many students are trying to find the key. They have achieved the pinnacle of academic stature but because of the pressure to succeed, they are fundamentally unhappy and under a lot of stress.
The conversation went on to say that many highly successful people, like those in Hollywood for instance, are not happy because they are trying to fill their lives with things that really do not solve the fundamental problem of being …..unhappy. No matter how much success or money they have, their lives are unfulfilled, and they are always trying to fill the “Black Hole” with things that they think will make them happy. Dr. Santos believes that happiness is found when we concentrate on bettering the lives of others and can really appreciate helping someone else be happy. Happiness is a byproduct of our unselfish zeal to be there for someone else in their time of need. One of my mother’s other sayings was ” to have a friend is to be a friend.” Being a friend to someone or some cause can certainly trigger happiness, and self- centeredness will never fulfill that goal of filling the black hole.
When I think of things that make me happy, I think about skiing and riding my mountain bike. I can be happy enjoying the outdoors, getting some exercise, and being with friends and my wife Janet. This definitely makes me happy, but there is more to it than just satisfying my need to be outside. That is all well and good, but the real happiness occurs when you go out of your way to help someone or some cause to which you feel attached. It’s kind of like the old Christmas saying, ” giving is better than receiving.” To see a child’s face on Christmas opening a gift, to see a person who has lost a loved one smile at you for showing up for them, to be there for someone in the hospital and see that smile, to volunteer for a cause and see the fruits of your labor help the cause. All of these things can trigger that byproduct of happiness and really, can satisfy that need that is often lost in self -centered behavior.
Finally, Dr. Santos talked about being grateful for what you have. Sometimes the most downtrodden individuals in the world shock us with their grateful spirit for what they do have. Their happiness is evident in their smiles amidst some pretty dire circumstances. People who seemingly have a lot, are sometimes not grateful. There is always the need to want more, and their unhappiness is evident in their ungrateful spirit for how fortunate they really are. If you are stuck in the rut of always wanting more than you have, think more of what you do have and be grateful. We all fall into this rut at some point, and it is important to thank God for your health and your ability to do things and enjoy life. The black hole is not filled by things, or trips, or wealth. It is filled by happiness initiated by a generous spirit and a comfort in knowing that your lot in life is to be there for others.
I used to do a skit with a friend of mine at our church called ” The Black Hole.” Basically, it showed us talking about what we did to try to fill that hole and it was always recreation, trips to somewhere, more money, cars, big house, etc. The gist of the skit is that you can’t fill the black hole with things that you think will make you happy. The finish of the skit was to show that happiness and filling that hole begins with an unselfish attitude toward life and knowing that the only thing that really fills the hole is your faith in a God who loves you. Be grateful for what you have and be there for others, and you will fill the hole and genuinely be happy. If you get the chance Google Dr. Laurie Santos. She has some pretty good things to say and even though the commentary is basically secular, have a listen. Thanks for reading.
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I was reading an interesting article this week about “A Third Place” in the latest issue of Outside Magazine. The Third Place is described as a place where people can meet and socialize with strangers, acquaintances, and friends. This would be outside the home ( first place), and the workplace ( second place). In our world, the “place” sometimes varies but the important thing is to meet and be held accountable for meeting. Take mountain biking for instance. We meet at different ” third places”, but the social interaction is there on the ride and also the post ride with libations and snacks in the parking lot. This was particularly important post-pandemic when we were all basically shut in and longing for a third place to meet and socialize. In our case, in an athletic endeavor.
In the winter, our third place oftentimes is the ski area. We have our standard places but also we make it a point to make a ” third place” not only the local area, but a vacation spot where we can ski together and socialize on the chair lift and also in an apre’s ski venue.
So what is the real importance of finding a place to exercise and gather socially outside the home or workplace? It is important to have an outlet to be with friends in an environment where we share an activity. The “place” is not as important as what we do in that place. Group exercise meetings fulfill the need to blow off some steam from the workplace and to get out of the house on a nice day or not so nice day depending on your level of intensity. Gloria Liu, in her article in Outside, says that” Third Places are posited as a solution for finding and building community during a time when Americans are increasingly alone. ” Coffee shops, bars, and other meeting places are not necessarily conducive to creating a community like a meeting place, where we are all held accountable to a mutual love of an athletic endeavor. Endorphins are released, people get excited, and make plans to meet again for a ride or a ski day. Thus the “third place” is actually a metaphor for a mutually enjoyed activity that fosters friendships and a community dedicated to health and fitness.
The “Third Place” has actually been quite important to me in that most of my good friends and social interactions have been found there. To me, it is important to have friends who hold you accountable no matter the circumstances. Weather, time constraints, etc. can all derail meetings, but when things are really clicking, you meet at that third place regularly and it becomes an important part of your lifestyle. It is not just something you do, it literally is who you are. Gloria Liu also says that the third place is one that you make, not just one you find. You become more involved. As you become a more senior member of a group, you volunteer to bring along the new people, introduce them to your other friends, and let them make new friends and be held accountable. This type of social interaction is not found necessarily in the workplace, or for many at home who perhaps are single or alone. But it is an important step in developing relationships that last a lifetime.
So, make it a point to make that weekly ride, meet friends who will ride with you daily. Perhaps a hiking or running group? There are many of them around if you search the internet. Find that third place for social interaction and become an integral, teaching part of that group. They can learn a lot from you, and you can learn a lot from them. And as I said in my last post, age really does not matter if your shared love is a sport that you can do for a lifetime. For me, riding, hiking, and skiing are those sports and I have found my “third places” for all of them. Thanks for reading.
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