Category Archives: Volunterring

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Happiness is Like a Perfume

Janet in her happy place

My mother always said, ” Happiness is like a perfume- you can’t sprinkle on others without getting a little on yourself.” Good line and so true. The other day I was listening to a podcast with Dr. Laurie Santos from Yale University on the subject of happiness. Lots of conversation about how happiness is a byproduct on how you choose to live your life. She spoke about the intensity of ivy league life and the fact that many students are not happy. One of the most popular courses at Yale is her class on Happiness, because so many students are trying to find the key. They have achieved the pinnacle of academic stature but because of the pressure to succeed, they are fundamentally unhappy and under a lot of stress.

The conversation went on to say that many highly successful people, like those in Hollywood for instance, are not happy because they are trying to fill their lives with things that really do not solve the fundamental problem of being …..unhappy. No matter how much success or money they have, their lives are unfulfilled, and they are always trying to fill the “Black Hole” with things that they think will make them happy. Dr. Santos believes that happiness is found when we concentrate on bettering the lives of others and can really appreciate helping someone else be happy. Happiness is a byproduct of our unselfish zeal to be there for someone else in their time of need. One of my mother’s other sayings was ” to have a friend is to be a friend.” Being a friend to someone or some cause can certainly trigger happiness, and self- centeredness will never fulfill that goal of filling the black hole.

My happy place of being with friends on a ski outing.

When I think of things that make me happy, I think about skiing and riding my mountain bike. I can be happy enjoying the outdoors, getting some exercise, and being with friends and my wife Janet. This definitely makes me happy, but there is more to it than just satisfying my need to be outside. That is all well and good, but the real happiness occurs when you go out of your way to help someone or some cause to which you feel attached. It’s kind of like the old Christmas saying, ” giving is better than receiving.” To see a child’s face on Christmas opening a gift, to see a person who has lost a loved one smile at you for showing up for them, to be there for someone in the hospital and see that smile, to volunteer for a cause and see the fruits of your labor help the cause. All of these things can trigger that byproduct of happiness and really, can satisfy that need that is often lost in self -centered behavior.

Sandi Hilton and Janet volunteering at Ronald McDonald House

Finally, Dr. Santos talked about being grateful for what you have. Sometimes the most downtrodden individuals in the world shock us with their grateful spirit for what they do have. Their happiness is evident in their smiles amidst some pretty dire circumstances. People who seemingly have a lot, are sometimes not grateful. There is always the need to want more, and their unhappiness is evident in their ungrateful spirit for how fortunate they really are. If you are stuck in the rut of always wanting more than you have, think more of what you do have and be grateful. We all fall into this rut at some point, and it is important to thank God for your health and your ability to do things and enjoy life. The black hole is not filled by things, or trips, or wealth. It is filled by happiness initiated by a generous spirit and a comfort in knowing that your lot in life is to be there for others.

I used to do a skit with a friend of mine at our church called ” The Black Hole.” Basically, it showed us talking about what we did to try to fill that hole and it was always recreation, trips to somewhere, more money, cars, big house, etc. The gist of the skit is that you can’t fill the black hole with things that you think will make you happy. The finish of the skit was to show that happiness and filling that hole begins with an unselfish attitude toward life and knowing that the only thing that really fills the hole is your faith in a God who loves you. Be grateful for what you have and be there for others, and you will fill the hole and genuinely be happy. If you get the chance Google Dr. Laurie Santos. She has some pretty good things to say and even though the commentary is basically secular, have a listen. Thanks for reading.

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A Great Story About A Great Guy.

Let me tell you all a great story about a really great guy. We all need stories like that don’t we? Especially in this time and place in our world. My friend Bob Reading is from the Villages in Florida by way of “Bahhhhhstan, Mass”. He and his wife Valerie, who is my wife’s good friend from Penn State, are some of the most active people I know. We get together with the PSU group several times a year and Bobby is always along when he can to join in the festivities. Mike Smith, Bobby and I are the only non-Penn State people and we kind of became friends because of that distinction over the years. Mike shown in the middle here with his wife Judy and my wife Janet. We laugh about it because the PSU fraternity is very strong. So Mike, Bobby and I started riding mountain bikes together up at Rothrock State Forest as a way to bond as the non-PSU guys and also to take advantage of the great terrain up in the mountains around State College, Pa.

Bob is an amazing athlete. A former college quarterback, he can do most things very well. We were all in the batting cages up at PSU one time for a contest that Kathy Ritchey put together for the crowd one homecoming. Bobby stepped in and had a stance just like a major league guy and started to make solid contact with the fast balls coming into him from the batting machine. He is great on the basketball court. Mike and I knew that he was a really strong road cyclist and when he first came to State College, we invited him to mountain bike with us. We took him into the famous/ heinous rock section on the John Wert Path up near Tussey Mountain and amazingly he kept up even though he had never ridden much on the mountain bike and never on the rocks that make up the advanced trails at the Rothrock State Forest. When we got to a fire road climb, Bobby was gone as he was like a rocket up the hill leaving Mike and I in the dust. The only way we could keep him in check was with the rocky sections but even at that, he was right with us and whenever a smooth section or a fire road came up, he was gone. I mean gone!!! Always has a smile on his face and in the middle of this PSU crowd, with former gridiron stars from the Nittany Lions, he was and is still the athlete of the group – bar none. But that is not the story really. Just a little background on a guy who started his own software company and then decided to do something totally different. He went to work for Samaritan’s Purse. http://www.samaritanspurse.org

We all started to get these messages from Valerie that Bobby was leaving for Africa, or the Carribean, or some other remote place where the Samaritan’s Purse reach extended. Samaritan’s Purse is a Christian relief organization that provides healthcare, food, shelter, and other amenities to those living in desperate situations around the globe. The conditions in many of these places are deplorable but Samaritan’s Purse continues to provide much needed care with their teams of doctors, nurses, and healthcare workers. Bobby provides assistance with logistics and also financial and accounting advice and the places he has seen in the last number of years is impressive to say the least. So, what makes a guy who is successful in business, lives in a beautiful home on a lake in Florida, has a wonderful life with a great wife, and all the summer weather activities he can enjoy, pick up and go to Somalia? A good heart- that is what. There are not many people in this world who walk the walk like Bobby. He even has Valerie involved now, but Bobby is gone for long stretches at a time. I am sure he misses home but to hear Valerie, Bobby has finally found his passion in life.
I often think what I would be doing if I really wanted to make a difference in life. Don’t you also think that? Especially now when we are all sequestered. I think often, what can I do to better the world? How can I contribute? It takes a special person to do what Bobby does.

The latest is that Bobby is now in New York City with Samaritan’s Purse Franklin Graham held Easter services there today and Bobby was working behind the scenes as he always does, making sure the finances work and the costs and payments are accounted for. He is the unsung hero for the organization and that is exactly how this humble guy wants it. Don’t you just wish you could have the courage to drop everything and follow your heart? I know that Janet and I think about it often. But some people actually make the move and do it. Bobby is that guy. Humble, giving, and when he returns, I am hoping to get thrashed on the bike by him again. He does it with a smile and we all say,” How does he do it?” Thanks for reading and pray for Bobby, Valerie and Samaritan’s Purse. They do such great work at great risk.

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The Orange Cone

Orchard Hill Church was planted out in Wexford, Pa right after Janet and I got married in 1988. We were one of the first families to become involved and our friend Sharon Gregory got me immediately involved in the skits that were part of the non-denominational service. Janet was more traditional in her service in the children’s ministry, but whenever they needed a goof to play a part in a skit, the phone call came to me. Dennis Bowman, the weatherman, played Keith Jackson the famous sportscaster in one skit with me playing Myron Cope. Another time they got me to run around the stage with a big black hole on my shirt, signifying how my life was empty. I soon retired from the skits because the assistant pastor at the time kept changing the lines on Sunday mornings. Too much pressure for me and I still kid him about how he drove me out when I see him running at the park.

Fast forward, I wanted to do something else to volunteer and I saw these guys directing traffic in the parking lot wearing shorts in a snowstorm. I smiled and said, that is the service opportunity for me and I signed on to be a parker. Now my first session was Christmas Eve Services and our church gets really crowded. The boss put me out in the front of the lot near the road and my job was to direct people up the hill to the main lot. Equipped with an orange vest and two flash lights in a blizzard, I dutifully directed people up the hill. The only crazy thing about that point position is that even though I had two lights and a bright orange hunting vest, I was a magnet for the Ford F-150s. People get confused when they come for the first time and are not quite paying attention. I had to be quick on several occasions to dodge the big trucks but I came out unscathed.

My new crew chief is Mike Fischbaugh who is one of these guys who will wear shorts and a windbreaker when it is 20 degrees. I swear the guy must be the most hot blooded guy I know but also has the biggest heart. Along with Johnny Salvini, Larry Zamer, Steve Nagler, and Matt Warheit, we manage the lot every other Sunday and mayhem usually ensues in one form or another.

I often shout out when an vehicle is coming in hot. People don’t pay attention when they are late for church and on their cell phones. They come screaming into the lot at warp speed and I shout the warning and jump to get my toes out of the way. Volunteering in the parking lot can be a hazardous occupation. But we love it. Matt keeps us all in line despite vigorous conversations about fantasy football where some folks are left to park on their own if the conversation becomes lively. Cindy Adams has the dubious task of taking care of the parkers with coffee and food on the multiple Christmas services. We also fall under her general guidance- poor girl. Her smile is welcoming as we come in between services to get warm and get a nice hot cup of coffee only to get back at it at the beginning of the next service. I always tell her the worse the weather, the better I like it. I like adverse conditions because I can wear all my foul weather gear including a 40 year old pair of green wool pants that I brought back with me when I worked in Maine. Love the crappy weather, and I always remark to Mike that this is the best volunteer job in the church. I kid him and say, ” When I croak, take my ashes and put them in that orange parking cone to remember me. A part of me will be left in that lot. We get a good laugh about that one.

I guess the point of all this frivolity is the fact that I believe that it is important to volunteer and serve where there is a need. This happens to be fun but when asked what I feel about the parking ministry, I always remark that we are the first smiling faces people see when they come to church. Maybe they are new and not sure about the format of our services. But we make them feel comfortable with a friendly smile and a cheery hello. They probably think,” these guys are crazy with wool hats and shorts.” But if we can help someone feel at home in a new surrounding, our zaniness has been worthwhile. An old pastor of ours once said,” You don’t have to serve overseas to minister. Just look around in your own neighborhood, school, workplace, or parking lot. God is all around us and protects all of us. Even when they “come in hot.” Thanks for reading.