You know, hindsight is 20/20 as they say and thinking back, I might have done things differently or maybe had a different perspective. Like youth sports with my son Jack. Now interestingly enough, I always played sports because my folks encouraged it- even though they were not athletic at all. I skied, swam, ice skated, played baseball, football, and played tennis and golf. Took lessons in all of them and really took to skiing and cycling which has stuck with me. But with this background, you can see how excited I was to get my son Jack into sports as a kid. He is now 30, and we laugh about the good old days, but I do have some thoughts on my zeal to encourage his basketball. Again- hindsight is 20/20.

Listening to a podcast with Peter Carlisle, the acclaimed sports agent who counts Michael Phelps and Simone Biles as clients, I was interested to hear his perspective on youth sports. He basically said that in today’s world, specialization is the only way to move from youth sports to high school sports. He was always a fan of diversity of experience for youth sports, and how important it is for kids to try a lot of sports and appreciate the process rather than the results. But in today’s world, if you have talent and want to move ahead with your sports endeavors, you have to specialize. He spoke of the differences in personalities of the kids who move ahead. There are the 80 percent of them who like to win. But the difference makers, in Peter’s perspective, are the 20 percent who hate to lose. He also said that it was more important for his own kids to have that diversity of experience. The ones who have the drive will achieve, as his own son plays college baseball. But he is also realistic in noting that only 6 percent of high school athletes move on to college sports, and an even smaller percentage ever go on to the pros. So, for most kids, the experience of sports and what it teaches you, is way more important than the results. Maybe not so for a guy like Michael Phelps, but for most kids, diversity of experience may be the key that will prepare them for challenges in life.

So, getting back to Jack, I always wanted him to ski with me and to perhaps ride a mountain bike with me, but he gravitated eventually to basketball and initially that was a challenge. I used to say” Basketball?” We ski in the winter, Jack.” But Janet always said,” it’s not about you, it is about Jack and his friends.” So I figured I would go all in on basketball and my own skiing came second as we moved along. We got Jack involved in grade school and high school basketball. But perhaps his best experience was AAU basketball with Daryn Freedman and eventually the DeJuan Blair All Stars with Darell Porter. Darell, a former all American from Pitt, asked me if I taught Jack how to play. I laughed and said I never saw the inside of a gym as I was a skier. I can’t even dribble. He laughed and said he would teach me everything I need to know, but he liked Jack’s three point shot.

Fast forward, Jack had a much better experience in AAU than he had in high school ball, and received very good training from Pete Strobl, who I engaged to teach Jack the finer points of the game. Pete’s Scoring Factory was a great experience, but it was my way of pushing the basketball a little too much. As time moved on, about Jack’s junior year, he had issues with his high school coach and the rose was off the bloom for basketball. Jack told me he didn’t want to play anymore, even though he would have been a starting player for his high school team. I asked him….” What about Friday night lights Jack?” ” You never get those days back.” He replied,” Dad- it means a lot more to you than it does to me.” Kind of disappointing at the time and I was not happy. But looking back, perhaps I pushed the issue too far. Not real sure, but thinking back, perhaps Peter Carlisle is right. The diversity of experience and the process of sports is way more important in most cases than the results. Unless you are a extraordinary talent.

In todays world, there is a lot of pressure to succeed. It starts ramping up in youth sports, gets serious in high school, and with all the NIL considerations and pressures in college sports, has become more of a business than an experience that prepares kids for life. Even though Jan and I gave Jack a lot of opportunities with many sports, it was the basketball that seemed to fit and my pressure for him to succeed, was perhaps detrimental. I would encourage any parent today to value the diversity of experience and get their kids into many sports. More to show them that sports can teach you discipline, camaraderie, and performance under a little bit of pressure. All traits that are important in life. If the kid has real talent, his or her cream will rise to the top. But parental pressure to succeed is a mistake. Easy for me to say now looking back 13 years or so.

As an epilogue, Jack loves to watch the NBA and plays in a YMCA pickup league. He still enjoys the game and uses it for exercise in his increasingly busy life. So, hopefully some of my past zeal gave him something to carry forward. But it will be interesting to see what Jack does and his perspective on things when he has a child someday. Will he get him or her into youth sports? We will see. He watched me when he was a younger athlete and maybe he will not make the same mistakes I made even though my intentions were noble. I guess looking back it is like the old adage of climbing Mt. Everest. Most climbers say it is the process rather than the result of summitting, that is the most rewarding. I probably should have had a more mature perspective on things when Jack was playing. But again…………hindsight is 20/20. Hoping Jack will say someday that it was a good overall experience rather than not. Thanks for reading.

Please follow the blog on http://www.chroniclesofmccloskey.com It helps me.