“Stuff” My Folks Used to Say.

My wife Janet and I had a good laugh the other day when I said something that my dad used to say. I mean, some of that stuff is drilled into my psyche and I say some things where one would say……”Whaaaaaaaat?” Things like, ” that one’s got a rear end like a 40 dollar cow.” Whaaaaaaat?? Or maybe ” look at that one ahead, looks like two cats fighting in a sack.” Whaaaat????? My mom used to say things like, ” that one looks like he fell out of a nest?” Or”he looks like Willy Lump Lump.” Say whaaaaaat??? Or maybe the classic, ” I wouldn’t know him from a cake of soap.” Where did they they get these sayings.

My grandmother had some good ones too. Like when you invited someone to something and they politely refused- much to your delight. Her line was ” an invitation is as good as an acceptance.” Kind of indicating that you went out of your way to invite them even though you really didn’t want to and you got off the hook because they said “no.” LOL!! No chance at getting invited again. Or when she didn’t like someone or had a spat with them, she looked at me and said, ” I rubbed her out.” Meaning no way that person was getting back into my grandma’s life again. Just rubbed out. LOL!!! My grandfather would pass gas and look at me and say, ” well, there goes the Sputnik.” You have to go back a few years to relate to the Soviet satellite.

I was riding my bike in Ireland one time and came upon a farmer with his dairy herd. They were stopped in the middle of the road and one of the cows started to relieve himself and it was like a fire hose. I had to move back so I would not get splashed. I then knew what my dad meant when he said, ” It is raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock.” Pretty hard rain. LOL!!!

Then there was the historical “stuff” that my mom used to say. Things like ” that guy is as cheap as Peter Liebach” Never knew what that meant until I read a biography of the Rooney family here in Pittsburgh and Art Rooney referred to Peter Liebach. The guy was known on the North Side for being cheap and turns out that when he passed, they found a bunch of coffee cans buried in his yard with cash in them. Lots of cash. A real person on the North Side of Pittsburgh back in the day.

Weather would bring out some of the good “stuff”. My dad would say, “wow- it is cold outside.” How cold is it dad? ” It is as cold as a well diggers a#$.” Or “bring in the brass monkeys” referring to the fact that the brass monkeys(door walkway ornaments) would freeze their private parts off in this cold.” Whaaaaaat? Or ” how hot is it dad?” ” It is so hot you could fry an egg on your shoes.”

If you looked disheveled before going out the door, my dad would say” get back in here, you look like a dog’s breakfast.” Or ” you look like a sack tied in the middle.” WTH????? The other classic was when he was angry with me he would say, ” you’ve got your head up your a#$ and locked.” LOL!!!

There are so many funny things that I remember that I catch myself saying. Like ” here we go, off like a herd of turtles.” Or ” that one was four sheets to the wind last night.” Or, ” that one is as cheap as hen poop.” Well now, that is cheap!!! ” I have to go so bad, my eyeballs are floating.” My dad had a million of them and I say them sometimes because they just run through my brain and out of my mouth. Another quotable one was , ” work is the curse of the leisure class.” Not sure if my dad could take credit for that one but he used it a lot.

My dad was no fan of Roberto Clemente because he didn’t like the basket catches that the Great One made. He would look at me and say,” you need to put some mustard on that guy.” Or if I would ever catch a ball like that, he said laughingly that he would ” tan my hide.” LOL!!

Who ever called a couch a davenport? Or when my dad would say, ” you mind Joe Brown – used to live up in the valley?” I reminded him that I did not “mind” or know Joe because that was back in my dad’s Bellevue days and I was not around then. How about ” that one is as useless as teets on a bull.” Or, ” I need that like I need a second navel.” Millions of them I swear. And I am plagued with them in my speech as I see things that trigger these inane responses. I am sure you all can add to this list especially if you are older. The “stuff” your folks used to say just drives you crazy as it comes out of your mouth, and your spouse, kid, or friend, says…………..whaaaaaaat???? Thanks for reading. Thought you could use a Covid sequestered laugh today.

10 thoughts on ““Stuff” My Folks Used to Say.

  1. Linda Visosky says:

    I can relate as my husband says that “Tits on a bull “ too often . Thanks for a little humor.

  2. Cindy says:

    My dad’s are overlapping with a few of your dad’s sayings. How about, “I cut that board twice and it’s still too short.” Or, “He’s half a bubble off plumb”, or “A few bricks shy of a load.”

  3. skimeister says:

    Some good ones Pat, of course back in Pottsville there were some of these and many others. The Anthracite Coal Region and the Pennsylvania Dutch in the nearby farming valleys had a large influence on the sayings. The immigrants from a dozen or more countries added to the colorful sayings too.

  4. Valerie Reading says:

    My mom would say, “Who do you think we are? The Rockefeller’s??”
    LOL

  5. Art Bonn says:

    ” I love my job it’s the work I hate!”
    I’m saying stuff all the time that my dad said none of which I can repeat here! Especially the ones he spoke in Italian. My mom would just say “Oh Raymond”. Fun post.

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